Ah, Valentine’s Day!  You can almost hear the birds sweetly tweeting, see the crocuses (croci?) crowning through the soil, and smell the spicy chocolate wafting through the air.  Valentine’s Day—a sappy occasion to spend money?  Or a day to honor your love for someone dear to you?  You pick!

Whatever you decide, here are five things you should never do on Valentine’s Day.

  1. Don’t pick out a present that you want.  If you give your partner a studded leather thong that he or she would never wear, it’s pretty clear the gift is all about you.  Pick out something together instead at the nearest toy store or lingerie department.
  2. Don’t put all your orgasms into one basket.  Good sex is supposed to happen all year long.  You can end up putting too much stress on yourself—after a full meal and a couple of glasses of wine, to boot.  Have fun, but if Valentine’s Day sex isn’t the significant event that you had hoped, brush it off and have fun again next weekend.
  3. Don’t make a reservation at a restaurant.  I think my husband and I learned this lesson 20 years ago.  Restaurants are crowded on Valentine’s Day and service is often subpar.  Make a great dinner at home and go out a different night instead to celebrate.
  4. Don’t take on the “every day should be Valentine’s Day” ‘tude.  I mean really, no pressure to make every day sweet!  Of course you should express love every day.  But Valentine’s Day is a fun excuse to pour it on a little, even if you’ve been together a long time.  So do buy flowers, chocolates or a trinket, and a mushy card to show you care.
  5. Don’t expect your partner to read your mind.  If you are in agreement with anything I have mentioned, or if you have your own needs or peeves about Valentine’s Day, share them.  Not afterward, before.  Only your mother could read your mind, and only when you were under a year or two of age.  After that, you needed to speak up.  So do it, and let your partner know what would really be fun, sexy, warm, or nice for Valentine’s Day.


Happy day to all romantics everywhere!  Single?  Treat yourself to a special gift, a spa day, or a book or movie and celebrate your love for someone truly special:  You!